I am kintsugi.Linda, past participant at The Haven Retreat

The Legend of Kintsugi

A Japanese legend tells the story of a mighty shogun warrior who bankrupt his favorite tea bowl and sent it abroad for repairs. When he received it back, the bowl was held together by unsightly metal staples. Although he could still use it, the shogun was disappointed. Withal hoping to restore his honey basin to its former beauty, he asked a craftsman to find a more elegant solution.

The craftsman wanted to try a new technique, something that wouldaddto the beauty of the bowl as well as repair information technology. And so, he mended every crevice in the bowl with a lacquer resin mixed with gold. When the tea basin was returned to the shogun, there were streaks of gold running through it, telling its story, and—the warrior thought—calculation to its value and beauty. This method of repair became known askintsugi.

Kintsugi , which roughly translates to "golden joinery," is the Japanese philosophy that the value of an object is not in its beauty, merely in its imperfections, and that these imperfections are something to gloat, not hibernate.

For a beautiful analogy of kintsugi, watch the video below:

Just similar the kintsugi bowl, I am being restored.Janet, past participant at The Haven Retreat

Kintsugi and You lot

That'southward a dainty story , you may be thinking,but what does it have to do with me? Imagine that your life is like a ceramic bowl. When skillful things happen, it's like the basin is beingness polished. And when bad things happen, it's like the basin is beingness dinged or scratched. Something like child sexual abuse could create significant cracks. The resulting trauma may fifty-fifty have left you feeling that your bowl had been broken into pieces. You lot repaired it as best you could, and, like the metal staples, perchance the ways you coped allowed yous to be functional, just non utilizing your total potential. Withkintsugi, every pace you lot brand toward healing is similar gluing those pieces back together with gold. You experience more whole and complete.

Although the trauma in your by cannot be inverse, information technology tin can exist managed in ways where it no longer dominates your life. Yous may conduct deep wounds that need validation and healing in guild for you lot to motility forrard. With proper pedagogy, tools, and support, it'southward not only possible merely probable that you lot volition exist able to live a positive, productive, and empowered life. Every bit you larn about how the brain responds to the trauma of your childhood, you lot can begin the process of putting the broken pieces dorsum together.

The i affair that hitting home for me more than anything else was having the adventure to do kintsugi. My bowl is a constant reminder that although I was broken, I am more cute now than I ever was. I just need to put the pieces back in place.Siobhan, by participant at The Haven Retreat

The Haven Retreat and Kintsugi

When participants arrive at The Oasis Retreat, one of the first activities that they participate in is our version of kintsugi . They have a ceramic bowl and break it. Then they accept the pieces and carefully glue them back together using glue mixed with gilded-colored powder. It takes some patience, a footling bit of practice, and the willingness to try over and over over again to fit the pieces back together. This can be an incredibly impactful activity for a survivor and serves as a great way to begin or proceed a healing journeying.

Every bit a metaphor, kintsugi takes on a different pregnant for each survivor who participates in the activity. In some cases the bowl may represent their babyhood. Others may feel that the pieces represent their cleaved trust. The ways kintsugi tin can apply to your healing journeying is as individual every bit each survivor. Have this opportunity to think most what the metaphor of kintsugi can hateful for you and where you currently are in your healing journey.

The activity that put a lot into perspective for me was the kintsugi project. It showed me that what was once cleaved can exist mended and go something fifty-fifty more beautiful.Stephanie, past participant at The Haven Retreat

Your Real-Life Kintsugi

Here at The Younique Foundation we understand that your experiences may be hard to admit or talk about because of the shame and stigma that often surrounds sexual corruption. At that place can be a lot of reasons to put off addressing your trauma and pursuing the healing that you deserve, but if you don't face your past, yous take a chance existence held hostage by it.

Your wounds and healing are part of your history—a part of who yous are. No matter what breaks y'all've experienced, your journey is cute. We don't celebrate that y'all were abused, simply we absolutely celebrate the wonderful person you are and volition go along to go as you create your existent-life version of kintsugi.

Delight annotation:

The in a higher place quotations came from actual survivors on our Faces of Survivors folio where survivors share the experiences of their healing journeying. To submit your own survivor story, get here.